"BEFORE MY BIRTH, WHO WAS I TO BE? AFTER I WAS BORN, WHO BECAME ME?"//In re-editing, I add this almost first: my experience working at the lusty lady was not due to pedophilia or sexual abuse as a child as probably many would like to superimpose upon me; it was due to the demands of the nazi hate death groups upon my family to conform to their dysfunction agenda and programming. My family was attacked and members killed via poisoning as I almost have been, and the threats to do what exactly they are told to do has been the staple of my family and it's enlarged diaspora for decades if not centuries or longer, it is a carry-over from oppression genocide euro-hate world. My family is connected to various groups and is part of the Nazi secret society network; my father a graduate of Yale Law School, for example. Obtained "permission" to compete by sacrificing me and then the demands to impose their hate abuse structure adhered to, but only after I had a chance to be outside of this group in the upbringing of an extremely loving background outside of the East Coast control system my family has been and still is subject to. Just to stop all the "pedophile" accusations putting me into one of your next pitiful victim plight categories the problem is the system of demand to fit into a pattern which is being imposed upon Jews and many other minorities groups to eradicate all strength from the Jewish population especially in America, the one place where Jews have had a chance to be citizens without fear of pogroms and genocide. //Concerning a film depicting: The Bodhidharma. My take on the portrayal in this film, and my personal conclusions about the indoctrination doctrine which such religious depictions and revisions and adherence and beautification of profound wisdom albeit accepted as a wholistic universal by those unable to discern the differentiations inherent even in biology. Blood being one of the distinctions of woman's endurance of hardship and turned sometimes into a joke or private yuck type response. It's a very long and hard road to try to brush aside boulders out of with my bad tools (hacked keyboard and attacked brain plus time-consuming and unable to focus and get through my points without great physical effort in typing and thinking reconsidering and then reediting plus hacking) but..this is a feeble attempt although tough and hard like masculine and unyielding to the yells and screams of the crotch-grabbing male rape enthusiasts of the Left much less the Right all in agreement on the "bitch" factor of how life is discerned as their revelatory realm: between males versus the ignorance of women and their needs (my input after all is said and done by the production of this film--not a "review" but a commentary which is relevant to the rape culture surrounding me endlessly and the indoctrination of such mentality through seeming sage pathways of safe grooves of society already pre-determined and enforced by (death) severe castigation/castration if not followed and obeyed (yes, this relates to mind control, rape culture, segregation, and all that is reinforced by the various sects of quasi-religiosity including political lack of polarity while opposites appear as justifiable: "The Path is already set in stone, and there's not much to think about for the future."..."(regarding vegetarianism and how cows eat only grass compared to human need for meat and blood nutrition)): "The body constitution of cows is different from humans." "Humans are the spirit of all things. How can we compare ourselves with animals?"..."It seems, your Highness, your wisdom flickers on and off...Alright, let everything happen as it will...Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart. So much pithy Hallmark-card emotional devotional wisdom contained in a celluloid piece of art-movie-docudrama regarding the all-male wonderful world of the Bodhidharhma, the Indian Sage who wrought Chinese Buddhist meditation and Martial Arts as icon. A film (hacked) onto my channel for which I show "gratitude" although, as usual, the usual confrontational personal opinion which may resonate and already does with many a woman enlightened as to the burden of being a follower. Obedient, believing and following without question pregnant with emptiness full of heaviness of demand for purity based on the worldly views created by a patriarchal system venerating the entity of Life.//I had not intended to make this a "feminist" declaration only to emphasize the very obvious duality of this approach. What goes for a sentient being containing a has been or currently fixed phallus with all it's hormonal control mechanisms the body is privy to or prey to (with mind control this functionality turns into an internally-directed "weapon" by the external forces of control.//

 "The Legend of Bodhidharma: Master of Zen/Mind-Opening Movie (Eng dubbed, 2025 remaster)". 佛教導航精舍. January 21, 2025.

"Wishery". Pogo. November 4, 2010.

As of late I am confronted with the unveiled dynamic, formerly more disguised but as the trump maga era progresses the rape white male and black male and female jewish latino culture is riding the shadow of extreme persecution of me under the protection and the glaring outrageous acts of brutality being heaped upon minorities and if women are also involved the "brown skinned black" narrative overshadows all other concerns whatsoever involving women. That the blonde and blue woman was white who was shot is over-ridden by her separation from the standard role of protection and her label "lesbian" is all that is needed to justify her assassination and that of her "type" into the "normal American" narrative being hyped up constantly. I have of late come to the realization of white male nazi rape murder rage thrust upon me with all kinds of death threats while they are concealed by the nazi shower of golden hate by the maga group--people like the german rape rat nazi from the band wizo out of germany surrounded by hakeem jefffries screaming "now i see why they call you bitch" and grabbin' gavin old-scum and the rest of these hateful men and their women thrusting penises at me or referencing rape and how glad they are and abusing slapping hitting and showered with gold promises of power when the demos come back into power; they have never left they always were with the rape culture and nazi thuggery but just disguised. I am, however,m now privy to the religious of this cult of control: "hypermasculine" function of control via the delusion (using a Buddhist concept about the illusion of control) that a person conveying a life-affirming open-minded seem approach is "liberal" whereas the staunch "might makes right" approach conveys a "conservative" approach in the current-day American tableau which is dominating real-worldly affairs such as international trade (tariffs and country boundary and leadership disputes overreach of power-grabbing, etc). 

To bring up the rape culture once more as the underlying "underbelly" aspect of the current paradigm, which remains mostly ignored except by such commentators as ...and my brain is blanked out, the "mind control" is truly blocking out my memory at this time. A "liberal" or, please excuse but I am not on the balancing pin-point of the exact labels since so much revolves superficially around "us versus them" red or blue, trump supporter or anti-trump, democrat versus republican, liberal democrat versus progressive, maga republican versus "swamp RHINO" etc it gets too confusing for me in my drugged up, mind control and hacked internet state to try to untangle.

However, even as the demarcation between male and female is blurred due to surgery and role-playing trans and other affectations or realities

watching the peace of mind, peace of heart, soul-searching universe exploring meditation of the ancient practices that the Bodhidharma elicits in the followers still devoted to these practices, many stemming from following martial arts admonitions that peace of mind is tangential to using the force of enemies to bypass them or defeat them if forced into combat.

However, in pondering the female role in all this, an initial sage quote which I have no idea if it is an historical quote by the monks and aristocracy royalty of India or due to a rephrase by the scriptwriters--I could search on AI but just adding the point that scriptwriters have done their own research, and then add their own perhaps slight shade or coloring to the approach of the subject and this I keep in mind while watching this movie which is one of those attention-grabbing topics which is not the norm for me when watching most "free" movies I can obtain. 

The quote which heralds the beginning of the "journey" of the man who had been chosen to be successor to the "King" figure white hoary dying patriarch ruler of the region in India---later to be known as the Bohdidharma---had the freedom to be a male who could relinquish his domicile and go out to thrash in the wilderness against his ravaging spirit until tamed by internal wisdom. A female in a similar situation may be highly unwelcomed by any monks from the established order and sent back to be good girl cook clean have babies and churn out perhaps one day a fine monk who would then serve the masters of the temple, or perhaps find enlightenment himself if he strove diligently enough.

For a woman to be so independent that she could leave hearth, home and family would be frowned upon is still frowned upon and a woman lacking the support of a family is seen as a "shame" aspect what did the bad girl do to have received such condemnation from the patriarchal hierarchy whether controlled by a female or not?

The b-word would echo in the shadows of the condemnation. In addition, any kind of sexual liberation from the restraints of male domination would be labeled additionally as the b-word amplified into screaming condemnation and if left without legal restraint, result in stoning to death, burning at the stake as a "witch" and removed from society no questions asked.

I am in this position by the crotch-grabbing patriarchy with it's women so "free" and "feminist" if they try to ascend into power by fully welcoming in male rape culture dictates--as long as they provide succor and approve of the male sexual orientations whatever they may be, remain silent (obedient) and help the men to attack other women or men who do not engage in their overtake for any position of power--hoping and as America is currently embroiled in a total power-shift of entrenched aristocracy with male privileges sans all feminist and psychological analysis rendering them castrated or so they fear any peering into motives and pitfalls of early childhood dysfunction homoerotic motives concealing their gang rape good ole boy forays into ravaging anyone vulnerable in the deep dark black of night no one can take back---

to continue on this theme, I could go into the personal level of my "journey" into this dark pitt of night of the soul of duality of the power divide and my family has used this "bad girl" label as instructed to them by the divide-and-conquer death mongering haters who control them (my family, which is just another bot unit being handed instructed which they follow religiously although secular in nature)

to explore the dynamics of life without familial control which like Confucianism dictates a structure of society which is a parallel to the leadership of society--

to negate the roles dictated upon birth by a family and then in conjunction of society

great when enacted upon by a male

tragic and a death sentence more or less when a female attempts to do this same act of liberation from restriction roles

even in our great "modern age" of society 2026 this same template is being hammered down by the pressure gauge of the revision of society into an earlier "golden" period when the lines were clearly drawn and unquestioned.

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I find that despite my great concern for animals and not wanting to participate in blood-shedding of animals the health condition forced upon me by the rape culture male-dominated and female cheered-on throngs of poisoning and hateful people of all sides, in all restaurants this poisoning at my home in stores in markets is the prime way of paralyzing me to keep me a "good girl" locked away from sight but raped and tortured without end while in this state--by women who laugh and smile as they steal my screaming writings and screaming yells about women's rights and how they are violating all laws and principles. The factor of having the "liberal" white males and their endless plantation blacks, jews, browns and et al rush to coordinate and join in, while each has it's particular quasi-religious theme backing it. Always the theme can be reduced to honoring the female-"supine" role of passively being thrust upon as the worst and most humiliating and weak role that the b-words all can be lumped into one single category: loser. Hard and stiff when it comes to the right of their domination schemes, with their women behind them waiting to get a role at the "table" for some hard, stiff power to have their voices heard--oh the blondes most especially like that of megan kelly the fox host who was so blatant about condemning male Fox News rape and sexual assault against her and her "friends" sits next to the german white male nazi-spewing rape hater when it comes time for her to get more approval for her whatever black-face she wants to appear in next for her next spasmatic knee-jerk reaction to what the good ole boys tell her is approved-of for the condemnation of the week rant. Behind her is a plantation of blacks like whoopie and oprah who don their robes of approval in the religious of black strong female outspoken pundit for black girls--as they (oprah) said was hir "mission" which has exploded in the worst rise of white male supremacy in the last half decade--at least as the backlash from the rigged election (I believe)

I am not trying to pinpoint exact people but only that the seeming divide has no division whatsoever they operate in tandem

but their seeming "strength" in being able to express their opinion and hold money and status in a world formerly excluding any woman regardless from major media exposure (that half century ago or longer when it was "ceiling shattering" for a women to hold such power.

Yet, the powerlessness while they appear calm, detached and glib sitting next to the white male rapists and their throngs of plantation imitators looking for their own little raise in status

and yet, it is like the religious one-sided event of established authority religiously compressed in millennia of doctrine coming out of the East and West---witch burnings and stoning the old-school rendition of silencing now utter silencing of me through the most modern of technological "progress" but fully amplified by the yearnings of status and more media exposure by the "women" holding what used to be a sort of priestly role of disseminating the doctrine of the kings and rulers

in the other traditions one of the Eastern men went off on sexual freestyle license to commit every act of fornication out of his former kingly role-turned-guru.

Imagine any woman trying to get out of the entrenched roles of being a Princess, going off abandoning her family to live facing a cave and meditating--her period coming and her having to eat roots and berries to overcome the lack of minerals her monthly blood was secreting--so thusly, eating meat is often very helpful although many vegetarian women claim they can get around all this

facing a wall and meditating without being able to hunt or forage however may pose some problems for women in general--I am no nutritionist this is just speculating on a theme--

I find from my poisoning that the only thing that gets me over extreme weakness because my flesh literally is being ripped out at cellular levels is that I must eat meat--red meat in particular  like steak. I must buy the most inexpensive at the grocery at the most discount store I am able to get to--the meat although I tenderize it I am stuck without money due to the males who cut my money off because I have been fighting being a passed-around sex trafficking "slave" to be rendered silenced without any recourse to law; my own family having sold me off to this and participating in making me disabled with full glee and delight and joy and hope all the terms the democrats promised them would ensure their conservative money investment porfolios without any legal redress by any authority figures-my brother having profited off his cayman island portfolio in his career so that all the money derived out of this contract is easily sent to these offshore accounts no questions asked for the sale of me into sex trafficking and torture mutilation then murder--)

fighting this not only because I am a viable human being with formerly a chance at having a career and the mind and capability and formerly a body to do so--

in trying to accomplish anything this group with my family fully participating--as many families of sex trafficked people are unfortunately suffering from , but then further compression of "shame" heaped upon women who are "bad" and try to get out of the entrapment of familial obligation imposed upon women in society as a general rule--

At the beginning of the Bodhidharma's shift from wealthy, entitled aristocrat royalty deemed to be the next King of an empire, the Bodhidharma had to escape a murder assassination plot by his own family--to become a monk in an all-male enclave of security by the Temple from which he could--perhaps legally at that time--receive protection (and undoubtedly not shown in the movie depiction or written of in real life, money handed to the temple as exchange for security forces, something perhaps which happened in real life or not---just writing out this concept and money may have been a factor whether handed freely by the prince or a soft-spoken request put in kindly fashion by the temple administrators--you can see that they are not just purely depicted as hallmark-card quotation bots only pure and simple they are human with needs and curvaceous sometimes almost sinister reversals of logic in order to fully question the stance of the person seeking approval and promotion into their secret sanctuary inner circles--)

The Quote which begins the journey from wealthy land-owning near King, in what is a common theme of fantasy folk tales and fairy tales is a royal figure escaping from near-death by competing royals seeking control over the empire. Sometimes in the guise of competition for "beauty" as in how the women leaving the protection of the cloister family kingdom are usually depicted for the West. I have no idea if there are any females who left their families societal roles to become enlightened monks deemed the mediators of humans between divine spark wisdom in Eastern philosophy there are goddesses however in many of the Indian lore, but for them to have sort of transmogrified from mortal into near divinity although human state appears rare, if ever.

The break-down of figures like snow white and sleeping beauty are the reason that the rapist expletives of whorewood obtained their "feminist" ideas such as I wrote them years ago on facebook which became their feminist starring roles such as shitalina the most odious and ugly sick parasite who created Malificent out of my writing about the fantasy break-down of women under duress in established "royalty" versus breakaway from tradition roles--turned into domesticated nevertheless for the protection of males, then by obtaining their former regard as royalty with the kiss of the male who bypasss the many spider webs of the hissing of the "beautiful" competing woman her 'step-mother' and other such familial hate-inducing divide and conquer roles for which women are indelibly entrenched and tethered into.

To break out even in the context of fantasy fairy tales is and remains a witch burning gang rape scenario calling the woman a bitch endlessly sticking nasty white male privilege penises at the "bitch" sometimes calling her a witch if she uses her own means of divination rather than the thought-reading tech these phallo-centric murdering bigots all utilize are handed from their big daddy fasco-good ole boy enclave. Fully approved of by the "women" vying for more power within the all-male world assuming that once they can make a "movie" based on my themes which they dare not enunciate much less think and then giving me no credit no money keeping me "silenced" through their censorship apparatus of the media and internet ...the titles of bitch and kill her rape her remain a standard cry with delight by the "oppressed" minorities searching for some role subservient to the bigot women handed some "power' for fully supporting this male rape culture which is religiously protected and the furtherance of framed around my observations and movie ideas put into top oscars by the blonde women and jewish women and black women and latino woman all "representing" strong black bold minority American leadership seemingly against the status quo.

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The biggest transgression, according to the prick-grabbing, p-valley snabbing (sic) men and their follow-along enthralled cheerleader women and cohorts (plantation minions minorities on their own path to glory power via rape hegemony) is that any question by the unauthorized female not blonde not in any established media position as I am is to be met instantly by the very least a "smack" as nasty grabbin' gavin old boy scum states as he once more last night had a physical object slammed into my face while I was in deep sleep at 2 a.m. thusly forcing me to wake up from the teleportation hell he and his ilk create so the german nazi rape scum rat can have me awake for his schedule, to which the entire liberal white male and female culture of whorewood accommodate because nazi gold handed to them and prizes for the fantasy castle world of germany and france is their true and only goal--me as just a "bitch" who is a 'nothing" and "loser' means all their professed utopian tirades about women's equality--don't call me a bitch the black woman belts out in her former 1980's or so hip hop song--now rushing to assault me and join in with mirth, jokes and etc--none of their "don't call me bitch" applies to me for them, the empire of white approval being a "strong black woman" who joins in with nazi approval has merited her after her last or last time before the last time or the last time before the last time "queen" arrived to hack her music, or I just used her stupid hypocritical video singing in the "ghetto" "who you callin' a bitch?" and after endless more abuse and the endless rotation of all the "feminists" who  hack out and crank out their videos, their self-empowering videos like a rotation of a quasi-religious stance against the established religion of male entitlement to grab, rape and abuse women

but when it comes to "nobody" me, the "loser bitch" they all chant with the blonde daughter of a french prostituted gold digger formerly with depp the sick and psychopathic drug-riddled alcholic rape and abuse domestic violence murdering sick psycho--the daughter of this union also stealing my ideas and this contract for--since 2012 this group of sick filth family with french approval the "feminist' mommy who sued depp for hundreds of millions of dollars in a divorce settlement--the poor victim of domestic violence and all that money he poured at her to get french blonde nazi approval in the first place because like all of the celebrities and politicians, literally all who join in this attack upon me, living in euro-land is the most coveted of all holy pilgrimages of their entire lives not merely their careers--the trashy filth they and their political partners have collectively turned America into so they can have Reagan debt crises after crises dumped on the american people--so old grabbing old scum is there with his reagan badge from his little boy years of his domestic violence background and poverty dumping his rage on me yelling he is a good christian--but I digress or is this truly a digression? 

all the while, my posts are being scoured for feminist content so the blonde english-crown sleazy skank dumb whorren mirrage dumb helen mirran can as they are doing now from a year of literal murderous torture using these covert technologies keep me imprisoned, tortured, can barely type this out the hacking remains a restriction to free speech

so she can proclaim herself as she did with my barbie feminist concept I could barely write out like this--struggling with every key pounding out the keys never working all blocked, stiff like I must fight and use weightlifter finger strokes to pound the keys out for every single word

they keep this going, but they just stole another concept out of literally murdering me with torture

the bitch phrase used upon me without end because I had to leave my abusive family, I read tarot to understand the traitorous violence of murder they are all constantly pouring on me because I am not blonde and white skin completely so thusly not allowed to have any freedom and the american model is not supposed to apply to me

only to michelle obama and oprah and jasmine crocket because they are obviously what they are, but fully in line with torturing and murdering me fully supporting all the white males who beat and rape me while their nazi trash women steal my ideas without end about women's rights which I studied--written by a jewish woman who was murdered via the poisoning these rotten evil skanks all are overthrilled about having poured into my body to make me appear similar to what andrea dworkin looked like before she died from poisoning--never diagnosed all kept silent

the religion of abuse of women and the deification of the nazi shit skanks and their subordinates who fully support all the violence, especially when it comes to protecting and furnishing full loving support by the doting black women (of the plantation)

but besides all that, I worked at a feminist adult entertainment venue which was closed down by Forbes upon his rise to running for president--the establishment in San Francisco was a one-of-a-kind place where women were in charge of their own sphere and had every entitlement to kick the abuser men out--no stupid hate terms no woman-hating unless the woman in some way agreed to let it pass or to go on. I worked there because my family organized a horrific attack upon my spine and body--a long story I have written of--the network of hate arranged it all--my family being more of the victim stockhold syndrome than the white nazi network, just by the way

I was left with a metal rod coming out of my spine as a result I was denied without question any health care whatsoever by the san francisco general hospital--at that time, the killing of the former hippie and underground movements and people was fully underway--eventually grabbin gavin old boy scum became their mayor and is now a yuppie nazi in drag disguiesd as "liberal" pontification that only he is a virile and active opponent of trump using stupid capitalized words in his posts but prior to that--he violently assaulted me and trump came to join in and approved of old boy scum to become next president should his plan b, c and f failed to retain power

fully ordained by a slew of white male rape culture "formerly republican" bigots who attacked me years ago--morning joe team the bigots are despicable then scaramucci who is an elaborate talker with absolute white male rape racist "italian american" nazi axis powers affiliation with a lot of english and french in that gang at this time--and everywhere else

for anyone not blondish and part of their nazi culture breaking away from the inquisition imposition of their quasi-religiousity of infliction of demand for silence while being raped, domestic violence, racist suppression and fully sanctioned by all the avaricious minority women who are striving to become "somebody" fully smiling with the males and castigating me to castrate me in what they call something like me not playing my role which they are using drugging torture mind control financial ruin and krap kreep krusty noem the ss learning about how to conduct state-sponsored nazi terrorism from the "alternative antifa" german scum rat who I met 30 yars ago who has spent 3 months having noem torture me for information extraction before dirty dumb and nasty blonde bigot out of london helen mirran and her gay friend ian mckellen who are screaming to have me killed that I am a bitch stupid and my ideas are stupid whiel they have not stoppepd for over 15 years having me murdered tortured to death to obtain more original ideas which they can re-formate into the religion of white supremacy a la them starring in roles profiting off the original and incredible ideas they never formulate but are incensed that I am capable of such height in creating original ideas which they lack

formerly very beautiful I was as well they made sure to hack scars and blemishes and permanent destruction of my body to such a degree and decades spent inside rooms being tortured day and night so they can destroy me utterly my life spent literally shitting poison out and fighting to get the next psycho sick fuck off me who relies on the religion of their white colonialist nazi paradigm as the next wave of destroying america--the goal of the english after the american revolution it has never died--they got the germans to establish this as a pan-euro-goal which it currently is.

The religion of worship for euro-land is much more ingrained in the genitals (thus the brains) of these celebrities and political followers of the religion of maga (pitting itself literally as having a messiah christ-figure in trump_

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The Lusty Lady was not a "hands-on" venue but all conducted behind glass, similar to the movie with Natassia Kinski where she works behind glass and has conversations in a "private" booth. It was empowering of sexuality all under the control of me--myself and I--the management, however, was a nazi control situation one of the women (kate) was jewish and hired me (and never bothered me) the other nazi woman blondish was "lindsey" who organized that my money would be stolen from the booth (I was uanble to count my money totally drugged in a way and then I had to smoke some good California Sensi in order to perform this role--or many roles--thusly I had absolute creative control never could a man talk to me for a second like the filth of this team of actors and politicians do on a non-stop daily basis. When I criticize their output and their rantings and their falsities in their public displays as being the epitome of hypocrisy they rush to scream bitch they hit abuse and rape and pass me off to their friends--grabbing gavin old boy scum first obtained a latino and a black set of males, sititng next to one another after they hacked their "comedy" skits on my youtube--one is called "fluffy" or something like that he is rotund--was a featured on the snoop dogg show and all are combined in that atmosphere of white male rape entitlement on the plantation but death threats while old boy scum sat smirking with glaring black looks of hate while he had me, under truth serum, while I was under the impression that his public appearances touching all the bases of "democracy" as he was a baseball player and thusly, it's all a game to him his focus groups all render him the "talking points" which will hit home run for the voters--

but in private, in his prostitution realm of abuse, sexual rape culture which he and pelosi have thrived off from the royalties of shitalina dn pig ape pitt stealing my ideas derived out of torture rape and poisoning to death

all the while every "liberal" opinion and voting talking point is covered for that home run appeal

that began the hell of new old boy scum and he's still "smacking" me for writing saying thinking nothing silenced and writing my posts to the silence and absolute religious zeal of going along that the democrat party is currently on 3rd base waiting for the home run into office but put their by the fouls of the repuglicans so their "friends" can then legislate in their stead the same "agenda"

the black women scream about being strong black and bold in front of cameras---they fully hit abuse scream like fascist good ole boy old scum at me for their upcoming campaign cycles they will shout their bravado for old boy scum when the time comes for campaign finances to just sort of trickle down into their offshore accounts