Why am I not thrilled? One of the biggest accomplishments provided for women not ordained to have financial or any other security is to lose weight. I have not lost weight, I have lost about 3 inches around my upper body from hard poisons I ripped and cracked out, resulting in a slight change in my body appearance. A shirt that I had ordered (2nd hand) white "old school" blouse, ordered "large" was sent 3rd world tiny "Medium". The shirt was so tight I could not move in it, and the length of the sleeves has remain up half my forearm. //One week after trying on the shirt, it fits loosely because I broke the poisons from exertion and herbal healing I can barely afford and it has taken me over a 15 years to begin to figure out how to break this internal poison out of my body (it took years begging for my life to have the mechanical arms stop poisoning my food--begging in my blogs and online for my life met with jokes, ridicule and the poisoning continuing indefinitely for at least 14 of the past 15 years as the poison was raped into my body from hateful bigot violent nasty men with "feminists" cheering and laughing it on and all profiting in millions out of it). One last vestige of anything afforded me is to lose this poison as a life accomplishment out of guess work on how exactly to do the literal impossible task while under non-stop repoisoning, non-stop drugging adding to toxicity and stress on my live and kidneys, and non-stop torture with most vile hate surrounding me for over 15 hours of every day from cheery smiling empowered hormone-high politicians and celebrities. My one aspect of life now that is the only avenue for any kind of attainment is in not being a huge bloated poisoned bulging teetering destroyed person so more rapists can inflict DOMESTIC VIOLENCE upon me aka rape torture sex trafficking brutality and a non-stop murder contract. So, thusly, as a "woman" my goal in life to be as thin and f**able a possible for abusive men who really want young boys and dirty porno females to play their favorite sex sleaze power-over, loveless S&M hate power control "games" with-- and in effect, an artificial simulated domestic violence situation of helpless endless "victimization" for which I am literally threatened with death for trying to rectify to not be a "victim" is met by senators coming to threaten yell fascistically and representatives coming to applaud the hate celebrities and pushing me down and allowing it to continue-a non-stop abusive sex trafficking hate condition of non-stop murder albeit ever-so-slowly. i should be thrilled that I lost the poison they put in my body and still would be poisoning me to death if they could while they continue to shatter every moment of peace and love, tranquility and they inject violence and hate upon me as often as they can, relieved, their sickness dumped on me--off being awarded by a sex trafficking defunct system (aka Government).
"Everything's Wrong If My Hair Is Wrong". The Waitresses. August 4, 2022.
"I Know What Boys Like--The Waitresses". Louiscmck80s2. July 25, 2008.
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The bruises, permanently scarred into my body from chemicals that tattoo cuts and blemishes (they create eruptions into my skin--I have never had allergies, my body never was just coated with outbreaks and scars that remained permanently until 15 years ago when perpetual plastic surgery rotation celebrities came to inflict something like their hate upon me in ways that would make them want to curl up and die, literally destroying my skin hair body fingers toes, etc
I look battered completely from head-to-toe like a domestic violence victim who has been beaten for years. That is what these United Nations Feminist celebrities have ordered with full applause and invites and awards..
But to steal my ideas while poisoning me, and I am forced to live in sub-poverty disabled condition which was meted out onto my body from "normal" citizens on every country I have been to in a seamless torture and murder operation. I call it the 4th Reich, it encompasses the entire planet.
The body shaming that the expletives have been doing for years should make me feel more "redeemed" because the POISON THEY ORDERED PUT IN MY BODY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL ME AND HARDEN AND PARALYZE AND INTERNALLY SUFFOCATE MY INTESTINES, CAUSE HORRIFIC CANCER AND SLOW HORRIBLE DEATH I am managing very slowly, always with abuse while I fight with 100% concentration to exercise in ways I HAVE CREATED to break the internal hard shell that is making surviving the endless global torture impossible should they actually cut my money off, which they are constantly threatening me with, in particular the sexual abuser rapist Republicans now coming into power.
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Yes siree-- my 6 years of grad school (online, Criminal Justice from the University of Central Florida) resulted in such horrific poison I had to be taken into an ambulance on the last week of classes (online) where once I got into the emergency room, literally unable to move, I had to crawl down the stairs after begging for 15 minutes to the German emergency room to bring me to the hospital, after paying very high student insurance fees for over one year they refused until I told them I could not move. Once in the emergency room with an IV because I was in so much pain my body so huge I was literally unable to bend my knees or neck--the emergency room worker was wearing one of my leather gold bracelets (obviously a non-gender style which you could pull tighter and it looked good on males and females but he was wearing my bracelet). It was "returned" to me by the German delivery service with fungus coating it so badly I had to throw it away, many items taken out of my shipping container out of Germany to the place I am now
but anyway,
6 years of fighting to study and concentrate and get health care, I was drugged by all doctors who would inject me with hardening chemicals so the poisons that bloated became hard--in short, a murder operation
and all the while, trying to get straight A's, and things led to blocks and attacks but my GPA decent enough
for 15 years shitting poison out. All chances of following-up on my grad school my undergrad never obtaining health care I need, attacked non-stop
and the one and only goal that the expletives STEALING MY IDEAS constantly is to try to appear as f**able as possible for domestic violence transference by so-called "men" I never had the chance to say NO to they drugged me so badly and every time I realized they were not the "bomb" but instead the "sh**" and thusly ignored them, tried to get away in every way possible.
Stalked and attacked by such huge groups of mostly brown and black minorities and then Nazis while I was in Germany (using browns and blacks) and here I am 15 years later, almost the same situation but in deep sleep teleportation that never ends of me screaming no. Maybe I need to scream in German
but it's an enforced mentally ill situation of dysfunctional people heaping their vile hate upon me while I am castigated and castrated for fighting in my defense because these defunct operatives must have people to steal from and people to abuse in order to claim they are "superior". Plus stealing ideas from me, my lifetime of trying to be part of an artistic collective trying and being drugged and gaslighted and gossiped and drugged and mind controlled out. It may have worked if I had stayed in Minneapolis but it was severe attacks there as well.
Now I should be so thrilled that the endless smirking insults because my body has been made, by the very same people, a huge size the hard poisons intended to remain forever until I died of internal suffocation. Plus fractured bones and broken bones and they severed out part of my uterus as well, this same group as my body does not have hormone replacement therapy I can't trust a single doctor and I don't have money for anything because like domestic violence abusers and rapists and murdering spouses they are blocking any way for me to get away financially or otherwise.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because I was so beautiful physically, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise, I won most achievements I sought to strive within, often reaching top level in competition
so they--meaning most of you, as this is a holographic bot formation of hate and lying posturing who are faking it till they make it, by cheating stealing poisoning drugging abusing killing and genocidal thrusts upon anything possible, including all Life itself
and so, you want me beaten to death, poisoned to death
raped to death
mutilated until I am finally slaughtered
abused to death thru these technologies that I warned and warned in my writings for over 15 years that Elon Musk was promoting was a fascist Nazi was not a cool dude and you have all championed him on and tortured me for writing what is now almost obvious, but not quite
oh yes, he's considering purchasing MSNBC now, and this too was planned
I wrote that the Morning Joe team was so fascist and now, they have joined with Trump. Every time they mention sports, it is a code for the real insidious "game" they are "playing" upon the public. The way they lured me into watching them was after I had written about some of the very nice authentic Christians I had encounters with in Florida, who are and were some of the kindest people I have ever met, and sometimes people of certain denominations actually perform and believe in over-riding hate and following in precepts of kindness and love without obeying hate dictates by death squad organizations.
Morning Joe hacked an interview with a Priest, in which he stated that his upbringing in Pensacola was of a weekly Church instruction
I have never seen any of that positive affirmation ever once displayed and the violent screaming and hate was nerve-shattering and a deliberate inclusion in the slow murder process
ever since embraced by the teams of hate which have been put into the levels but are themselves programmed (that would be 46 & 47 now)
and I am writing that because it is on my mind
but all contributing to the farce of performing tasks of Democracy and supporting anything related to a society in which law and respect for human beings is at least seminally attempted
such a facade such a game. They always mention "the game" and use the code for sports teams on a professional level. I began to relate that to certain code implications a while ago after they had been teleporting and joining in with the poisoning rape and torture team of just sickness out of that rotten celluloid factory of death and hate disguised as sexualized feminism and Democracy
but, because they can't stand to have any forward thinking any kind of competition that is Modern enough to threaten millennia of white supremacy lynch mobs and enforced slavery human bondage trafficking mass murder discrimination openly expressed
I have to try to weigh whether the malevolence of the endless rape and torture and poisoning under the current soon-to-be displaced administration would be worse or better than the upcoming remake of the deadly non-stop torture and being hit by cars almost hit by cars my body mutilated---non-stop
was it worse under Obama who made his rape propensity obvious with this hateful next nth rapist out of that nasty culture which has so dominated the planet through the organism of media endless mind programming of everything white supremacy including the supposed minority-themed blaxploitation and other versions of subtle hints as to endless racism one must overcome and over-compensation thereof.
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My WiFi is off for the 30th time in 6 hours of endlessly fighting to just get information on the upcoming travail of the next administration in financial terms. I am trying to gauge how I can survive from the years of Trump having me almost cut off from survival monetary sources, and the poisoning he never stopped feigning ignorance and not doing a single thing but continuing the poisoning, as the Biden team has done until someone else from a far distant culture I believe was instrumental in helping to stop the murder poisoning of poison that the U.S. government paid to have distributed non-stop all my life to sick sleazy groups of people exploiting me at my most vulnerable.
The rapist hater who is being told by his lover in Whorewood to slap beat punch sexual humiliation (supposedly the humiliation is aimed at "me" somehow while he's the dirty nasty filth thing and so are all these filthy "Feminist" Nazi creep women and black activist men and women who laugh smile and act like I've really had a beat-down while it's me in a deep sleep drugged state unable to move not knowing where I am can only see a foot or two in front of me, but when they want to communicate with me suddenly my vision can extend to a few feet away (thusly they are "controlling" my vision in the teleportation)
and drugged with foul crap that none of you veteran drug users of recreational drugs could ever comprehend and no...it's not fun. If you think taking it to enhance sexuality that might be great for a while but the serious damage to your body is probably as great as any of the really fatal drugs that kill people who indulge far too heavily--so it's not anything related to Life and fun it's all a sleazy sick greasy filthy death trip
not on my part, on yours and theirs
and so, the hate is not going to stop. Years of this going on, my body covered with scars broken down fractured spine from people beating me while in a deep sleep, and I mean fracturing bones trying to break teeth out cutting out part of my uterus--from your celebrities and from your teams who are considered "good tax-paying citizens" including bad not-tax paying homeless and the utter wealthy from Whorewood to the shores of Kings Point, just across the river from downtown Manhattan the behavior and sickness is exactly the same--oh yes, Jewish or Nazi, the behavior is almost the same as well.
Oh well, writing once more to a blank void. The enhancement not only of fascism Nazis through the entire promotion of Trump to the utter corruption of people like Obama and Hillary to AOC contributing her part to a score of politicians--who act like hateful bigots openly laughing about rape and torture, on all "sides" and then abusing me for saying NO repeatedly and writing my posts hoping I can catch anything out there in this repetition throwing a bottle out into an open sea hoping someone will read my message and actually not after I am completely destroyed, as is usually the case.
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Since I am in this "reflective" post trauma-stress evening mood, because I AM drugged severely every day, I am abused for hours by smiling celebrities who are showered with so much money and applause, whose goal is to murder me slowly but watch me beg for poisoning and mutilation and torture to be stopped for years while the entire Congress watches on seeing which ones will join in and get promoted
I have a "conspiracy" that the elections are truly rigged. I believed that people like AOC were the byproducts of a coordinated theatrics presentation of fake opposition because she is theatrical, has the Trump "pretty" appearance that he demands for his employees especially for women, and absolutely does not care a fraction for much more than her Latino constituents, I believe she truly does care for her neighborhood--and I am not really focusing on her, but I consider her an easy identifiable example of how I think rigging of elections is done. She was a Trump pick but on the Democrat side, retaining "power" because her theatrics of appearing so irate about injustice are so well-received, as are the founder of the Squad Elizabeth Warren, who appears constantly chagrined by injustice and the destruction of people but, alas, while she sounds so necessary the actions of watching me get tortured and poisoned to death only makes me doubt how another member of the Squad also participated in this attack upon me, but is not re-elected I think the Republicans don't want her. I really believe now that Schumer also has been a necessary symbol for what people call "AIPAC" and the New York Jewish diaspora which firmly planted me in the soil of human trafficking for their promotional sacrifice to the Nazi Party.
It is very, very difficult to type out and very time-consuming. I cannot get my ideas out any longer the amount of effort and time and my brain is being blanked out--this is sort of inchoate an rambling because of the stress of pounding every single key and still they won't appear when I pound and pound with my entire arm and hand--not my entire arm pumping up and down but it's because the keyboard is elevated above that level of my arm
so sick of writing posts, the stress is too much. The german is coming at me daily especially when I am just waking. I scream and try to beat him and screaming that I don't want him over and over and over for months and months. The team of celebrities are instructing him that my feelings opinions are nothing that just to push that he can do whatever he wants. He is given full carte blanche almost and no other person has been given this much leeway as the German has.
I really lost the mind programming about German Nazi mythology partially after having lived in Germany and speaking and living around only German-speaking natives and foreigners, most of whom detested the Germans as very few actually liked the Germans. No one in America can understand this because of the apparent open and warmth Germans have been trained to emit.
They appear so gregarious and such, but living in Germany and speaking German and understanding the nuances and the intimations and the gestures is a far, different thing. That was my life for years, I never lived around Americans until the very last part of the 4 years I was there--and then a decade later, living for about one year and the fascist Nazism was deadly in Stuttgart and far different from the warm, smiling Germans who were so kindly during a total siege of Americans at the 4 military bases who had overcome the Nazis and remained as a force dominating the German life until Clinton pulled troops out. I saw the first few months of swastikas emerge in the subway station graffiti which had not been there when the Americans dominated (and NATO troops and forces)
now the U.S. Embassy in Stuttgart is long closed. The Delta flights from Atlanta to Stuttgart were stopped ironically as this violent German openly expressing Nazi racist hater began his violence against me, the last flights the end of the WWII attempt to quell Nazism is now a dormant uprising of fascism in both Germany and of course, it's feeding trough partner the United States.
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