Completely out of it---normal mode. Healing process seeming to go backwards. Sometimes referred to as "The Healing Crisis".

"Amarcord 'Ti Tocci?' (sub eng)-Italian movies subtitled". Europass Italian Language School. June 13, 2018.

 **I just read through some of this post and saw words had been altered so they read like comical non-words--ha ha, the creeps are always at it, blocking my keyboard and rewriting my words and deleting.

This Fellini is so amusing, the actors so astounding and unique in their characterization. So unlike models in high fashion circuit trying to make their lips pout open in order to portray some sexualized titillation emotion when they are about to have sex constantly for the film as the writer and directors all instruct them to do repeatedly, I guess...? The subtleties of the "evil" of conformist society and the jokes and the craziness of society is rampant in Fellini movies, even the tragic ones there is still some comedy but mostly not in the most dark ones his wife helped him to create. Not so in American film. And the terrorists who have profited for years of having me beaten, posioned nearly to death, as I struggled begging for help they went  off to the Oscars laughing with their new lovers as I sat bulging with poison dying from abuse and stress while one after the next from Whorewood came also to get their free promotion. It's a cascade of violent murder scenes with these actors. Power plays and some more original than the newer actors who appear like generic loaves of bread performing slight deviations from the white bread slicing machine that mass-produced film is now. Much of it rancid and with zero nutrition but much brain-fattening calorie intake. I sit dazed after a few hours of non-stop ultra-violence and murder constantly coming at me in the screen with no reason other than the "good" guy is fighting the "evil" mafia while the townspeople are so "good" it's a ridiculous joke to watch how carboard two-dimensional the "good" townspeople are. Watching Fellini, you laugh as the sex-crazed sometimes witch other times bad girl wanders like a hungry ghost as the men drool over how many of the women they can have consummation with. None of that in the psycho terror violence righteous mass murder spree heroic movies and superhero movies. The actors playing in the meaningless murder movies are meaninglessly slowly murdering me with these technologies and they can't stop indulging in more and more free deals out of murdering me slowly while I fight for my life every day--everyone else loves these movies so much that they consider the actors to be more pristine than all Congress combined and with more entitlement than a pantheon of gods and thusly they are exonerated and omitted from all legal consequence in this matter, and in most matters. That is the realm that Donald Trump arose on his downward escalator to run for prime time leader of the "good" townspeople" who need a hero to rescue them from the evils of me. I have been called a "woke liberal" by hard line Republicans. I have not protested, gone to any lesbian gay drag queen storytelling hours. I have only defended myself against attempted murder from a bunch of bigots as I defend my right to have self determination. A fatwah has been issued and I remain with the "good" heroes still allowed unrestrained to torture and poison and abuse me to death as I fight constantly. and write all these posts which are then hacked to discredit me. My brain blocked by tech blasting into my neocortex and other compartmentalized brain-mapping centers so I can't think clearly while fighting the hacked and blocked keyboard.

so sick every day I watch these meaningless movies. Then I get on YouTube and the hateful violent rapists and murdering bigots who have stolen my cat, had me so brutally poisoned so they would force me into stagnation so they could continue to destroy m ylife so they could parasitically feed off this contract while I can't move or do anything. Then they spend HOURS every night and morning while I'm fighting to heal as they suck the life and energy and light and hpapiness out with endless abuse and hate and murder threats because I am fighting to heal and saying no to their rape and torrture and forcing a baby out of me for their endless s hit sick rotten movie empire awards circuit of a monopolized shit circuit.

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Yesterday I heard a loud crack in the hard shell of poison latched into my left side, from cervix to lumbar in one, hard swath. A hard piece cracked off and I thought, "yeah!" soon this will be over. I thought that I could exercise with more strength today. No way. In much pain, which developed during the day until I'm just suck as usual sitting dazed as the mind control poisons, fermented, also are seeping through my body as my muscle structure strives to heal from poisons literally ripping internal tissue out along with the hard poisons.

I am stuck in this chair in front of the laptop dazed as usual. Can't get anything done, too sick to do all the nighttime routine of putting ointments on all the damaged areas of my skin (covering my entire body) from all the attacks.

I get on YouTube like the masochist mind programmed zombie that I become from endless sickness, which the people profiting off this contract have also forced upon me. They fling the videos and clips of their movies. LIke the movie I just watched which appeared at first to be a thrilled but instead was focused on brutal killing against the evil enemy with the good CIA and Intelligence Agencies going a bit over the lines of protocol but saving the "good" people who love each other--in Sicily, this movie took place.

I recounted to myself the Fellini movie Amarcord where an old man from the town spoke a soliloquy into the camera about an old tradition of burning a witch effigy in the town square. A similar town square match-off between the forces of "good" versus the "evil" mafia was likewise in this central plaza of a prototypical Southern Italian town, as depicted by Fellini.

No jokes about burning the witch. It was the pure evil mafia versus the very good and upright Italian "good" people of the village.

So contrary to the Fellini movie with the town slut going berserk looking for endless men to have sex with behind the bathrooms and on the beach and etc, very comical. Then of course the Fascists took over the town celebrating Mussolini, which Fellini made also a mockery out of while showing how brutal and Mafia-like that arm of the "good" society of "good" townspeople embraced.

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I should watch that movie. I am always under so much drugging influence I sit dazed watching unbelievably violent fodder I would rather not see. How different a truly artistic movie is compared to the violent depictions of psychopathic males vying for power using killing and laughing about it, American psychopath movie society which is surrounding me looking for me somehow to provide them with a contract so they can make more and more of these types of movies, which I strongly do not want to help put into the public any longer to promote any more murderous fantasies of domination and sexualized sleaze psychopathy crappy creepy culture.

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I would rather promote a new Fellini type and anyone, in particular women who have original concepts--like myself. How much people like this have worked always to destroy people like me or kill them off--the same people who are constantly coming out with movies about killing justified by "good" versus "evil" where the "Good" people of society need a hero to save them from the "evil".